Entitlement - Grandiosity

"I’m special — the rules don’t apply to me."

 

2. What is this schema about?

The Entitlement / Grandiosity schema is the belief that your needs, desires, or feelings are more important than others’, and that you are entitled to special treatment, privileges, or exemptions. You may feel easily bored or irritated by rules, limits, or the needs of others.

This schema can sometimes mask deep insecurity or be a compensation for unmet emotional needs. People with this schema may be confident and driven, but relationships and responsibilities may suffer due to a lack of empathy or difficulty accepting limits.

 

3. Key Points

• Belief that you are exempt from rules or expectations
   

• Difficulty tolerating frustration, criticism, or limits
   

• Prioritising personal desires above fairness, mutuality, or empathy
   

 

4. Why the schema forms

This schema may develop in childhood when a child is overindulged, not held accountable, or idealised excessively. It can also form if the child had to emotionally fend for themselves and learned to rely only on their own desires as a way to feel safe or in control.

Unmet needs that shape this schema:

• Healthy limits and boundaries set by caregivers
   

• Learning mutual respect and empathy
   

• Opportunities to tolerate frustration and develop patience
   

• Validation without overinflation or emotional neglect
   

 

💬 Reflection Prompts

• Were you praised heavily but not held accountable as a child?
   

• Were your needs often prioritised above others in the family?
   

• Did you struggle to follow rules, wait your turn, or accept consequences?
   

• Do you notice feeling easily irritated when others set limits?
   

 

5. Potential impact of schema on the client’s life

• Conflict in relationships due to perceived selfishness
   

• Difficulty managing frustration when things don’t go your way
   

• Trouble functioning in structured environments
   

• Unrealistic expectations of others
   

• Emotional outbursts when boundaries are enforced
   

• Shallow or unstable relationships
   

 

6. Surrender / Avoid / Overcompensate Behaviours

Surrender

• Demanding special treatment and avoiding responsibility
   

• Acting entitled to time, energy, or resources without reciprocity
   

• Dismissing others’ needs or emotions
   

Avoid

• Ignoring or evading rules and limits altogether
   

• Keeping relationships superficial to avoid compromise
   

• Escaping responsibilities through distraction or justification
   

Overcompensate

• Dominating conversations or social situations
   

• Constantly asserting superiority, success, or power
   

• Criticising others to elevate yourself
   

 

7. Way the schema is shown in behaviour

• Talking over others or dismissing their experiences
   

• Refusing to wait or compromise
   

• Bending or breaking rules for convenience
   

• Prioritising personal goals at others’ expense
   

 

8. Way the schema is present in thoughts

• “I deserve more than others.”
   

• “The rules don’t apply to me.”
   

• “I get bored with people who don’t keep up.”
   

• “If I don’t take care of myself, no one will.”
   

• “People should do things my way.”
   

 

9. Potential positive impacts of challenging and changing the impact of the schema in your life

• More fulfilling and mutual relationships
   

• Greater emotional regulation and tolerance for frustration
   

• Enhanced empathy and social awareness
   

• Improved ability to work within structures or teams
   

• Greater satisfaction from collaboration and respect
   

• Reduced conflict and better long-term outcomes
   

 

10. Healthy adult behavioural challenges to the schema

Behavioural Challenges to the Schema:

• Let others go first or take the lead
   

• Follow a rule or procedure even if it feels unnecessary
   

• Listen fully without interrupting or redirecting
   

• Ask someone what they need — and meet it
   

• Share resources or opportunities without expectation
   

 

11. Healthy adult thought challenges to the schema

Thought Challenges to the Schema:

• “My needs matter — and so do others’.”
   

• “Limits are part of healthy relationships.”
   

• “I don’t have to win to be worthy.”
   

• “Cooperation leads to deeper respect.”
   

• “Mutual care is more valuable than control.”
   

 

12. How changing the schema will help you

As you challenge this schema, you may begin to feel more grounded, more respected, and more connected to others. Instead of always trying to stay on top, you can relax into mutuality and find richness in relationships that don’t revolve around power or control.

You’ll also begin to build a deeper sense of self-worth that doesn’t depend on superiority — but on authenticity, contribution, and connection.